Dealing With a Possessive Boyfriend
Dealing with a possessive man in your life proves to be rather difficult as you have to undergo lots of mental torture and a loss of freedom in your life. This type of man tends to question your behavior, your whereabouts and even who and why you talk to people. Sometimes this possessiveness and jealousy tends to translate and manifest itself into abusive behavior.
The possessive behavior in the man is not related to the love he has for you. It however stems from insecurity and low sense of self esteem in the man. In addition to this, it can also be the sign of future greater psychological disorders like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and narcissistic personality disorder.
Possessive men have the capacity of turning black and white situations into a situation to their advantage. You can find out if your boyfriend is possessive by examining your relationship. If you find that you are stifled and afraid to do things without his ‘permission’, then it implies that he is a possessive man.
The best thing that you have to do to deal with such possessive men would be not to fall prey to all his manipulations. He may try to make you guilty by saying that the reason he asks so much about whereabouts and contacts is that he has no other friends and you are the love of his life. These are all manipulations on the part of the possessive man to stop you meeting other people and spending all your time with him.
However you should instead walk your own way and explain to him that you need your breathing space, and so does he. Make him understand that it is not healthy to spend all your time only with each other and not meeting other friends or family. Make him understand that though friends and family are important to you, he will always remain the most important person in your life.
After trying all this, and you find that your boyfriend is still the possessive person you had found out him to be, the only solution left with you is to break up your relationship with each other. This is an option that will prove to be rather difficult for you to do as you would be deeply and emotionally attached to him.
In fact, by breaking the relationship, you may also find it difficult to break the unbreakable and really scary bond that you both share with each other. While you break the relationship, you will make him realize that you don’t like this over possessive nature that he exhibits, and that you need some breathing space of your own.
Though you may miss the possessive nature of your boyfriend once you break up with him, there is no other alternative you can take if after repeated explanations, your boyfriend is still over possessive over you. This is the only step you can take to avoid any physical abuse and schizophrenic behavior you may have to put up with if you continue this relationship.
I agree what you have said above,but at the final point i find it bit more reluctant to accept. Love is eternal and above all. No one is perfect in the life. No one can even claim to be even near perfection,because we are no one to decide what's right and whats wrong.The only thing we can do is to react according to the give situation. You can never ever generalize the given situation. It will solely depends upon the situation persisting at that given point of time and place. Breaking of the relationship never can be the sole solution for every given situation. So,i just want to say is that breaking off the relation can't be the only answer. The answer will differ from situation to situation. Sometimes (what i think) if you are deeply in love with other person, you will make serious efforts to overcome his drawbacks .Because this is what love is all about.!!!!
#1 - aryan - 03/10/2012 - 03:55