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Have you ever had your eye on a dashing, well built, attractive and charming guy, but nothing seems to happen on the relationship front? If you have tried to hit off something romantic by making numerous suggestions, and no results are forthcoming, then you might be sitting with a “nice guy syndrome”.
In simple terms the pattern of behavior that characterizes the nice guy syndrome is that of a man who finds it extremely difficult to establish an ongoing and healthy, primary relationship with a lady. He will most likely have a multitude of woman friends, but the relationship seldom becomes physical with any of them. Such men are known to be exceptionally good listeners, highly expressive and articulate. As a female, you are most likely to be attracted to this type of man who can both listen to you, whilst also being able to express his feelings in a clear manner.
So how can you as a woman help the nice guy in your life?
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Start by encouraging him to develop the kind of qualities that you as a person would like to see in him. When women talk amongst themselves or to their boyfriends about nice guys, it is usually to complain or to say things like how unfulfilled their lives must be. If you are attracted to the nice guy, then say so. Do not be shy to mention that although your relationship is perhaps on platonic terms at present, that the possibility is there for it to take on romantic overtones.
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Provide positive reinforcement of male behavior to the nice guy by pointing out existing great qualities and characteristics like health, fitness, assertiveness etc. Try not to give any impression that there is something fundamentally wrong about them or that they are social outcasts of some sorts.
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Encourage them to develop balance in their lives. If you have an ideal and actual person in your own life, tell him about it. This could be a father, brother or other males who are maybe both assertive and gentle.
As a woman you are most likely looking for a certain amount of strength and confidence in men. If you befriend a nice guy, you will often be aware of what a difficult time he has, to engage with women who do not understand him. His openness towards you may also mean that you get to hear his feelings of concern or challenges in his life that could portray him as being insecure.
It is usually your ability to recognize the underlying weakness in people, bringing it to their attention in a humane manner and then assisting them to overcome the problem, which will set you apart. We often times ignore our inner competencies that the rest of the world can benefit from. The nice guy in your life might be dependable, kind and reliable, but if he finds it difficult to lead a fulfilling life, then it is your duty to assist wherever you can.
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