Dating Tips For WomenDating AdviceDating ForumDating Chit Chatating Questions & AnswersDating QuizDating & Relationship ArticlesOnline DatingContact Us
*NEW ADDITION* We are glad to announce the launch of our New Discussion Board where we welcome you all to participate and share your views, suggestions and problems on various aspects of love, dating and relationship. Click here!
our favorites
 
THE WOMAN MEN ADORE... AND NEVER WANT TO LEAVE



For every woman who longs for the relationship of her dreams, this e-book gives both practical and inspiring guidance that any woman can immediately apply. Find out what hundreds of woman have already discovered!
 
recommended

CATCH HIM & KEEP HIM
by Christian Carter

Catch Him & Keep Him

Discover a woman's guide to finding "Mr. Right" and keeping him hooked for good - And you don't need to be gorgeous or young to do it!

relationship Articles
 
FOLLOW US
Facebook
Twitter
 

What's Space Got To Do With It?

He Needs Space- Is He Leaving?

He starts by saying that awful phrase, “We've got to talk.” Then he mentions that he needs his 'space' for awhile, that it's 'not you, it's him.' After his cliche-heavy speech, he leaves. Leaving you, confused and asking what, exactly, his version of space is. Does it mean he wants a mini-break, a separation, or to break-up and simply go his own way? How can you read between the lines of your man's need for this mysterious, vague space?

There are two possibilities: he genuinely needs his space. Or he's too cowardly to tell you that yes, in fact he IS leaving you. How do you know and what should you do?

He Just Needs Space:

  • Some people really do need their space. If he's introverted, or used to being on his own, this is his way of adapting to it. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to come back or that it'll be for a long time. He could just need time for himself, without anyone, to breathe for a moment.

  • The length of the relationship comes into play, also. He could be feeling over-whelmed and maybe even suffocated if you've been spending every waking moment together. Or if you've been having problems, he might just want to clear his head and get some perspective from a distance. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, he could just be adjusting or problem-solving.

He Wants To Finish, And Go His Own Way:

  • Men absolutely detest conflict with women, they can be cowards when it comes to speaking up if they think the reaction might be in the least emotional- or even hysterical. He could be interested in someone else, especially if you've been having heavy hiccups in your relationship.

What Should You Do?

  • It's more like what you shouldn't, under any circumstances, do: panic, get hysterical and relentlessly try to contact him. Becoming a pseudo-stalker isn't going to convince him he was wrong in needing his space. He'll need it more. You'll push him away, and inflate his ego that you're pathetically desperate without him.

  • Don't argue with him or try to persuade him to stay. Tell him he's right. That it's a good idea for you both. Take the time apart to think about whether or not you want to be with him, or if it's just an ego-bruise that he's leaving you. Don't take his phone calls or emails. He needs his space? Take yours too, and make good use of the spare time to beautify and enjoy the things you've done less, in order to be with him. Nonetheless, if you can’t think of separation in any of the circumstances, you can best resort to “The Magic of Making Up”, a miraculous guide for couples in trouble that assures back the good times.

  • He may come back, he may not. Maybe he just got confused himself and taking space he's decided you're the one. Maybe he panicked and got cold feet. Maybe he's with someone new. But needing his space can backfire. Maybe you've decided you need to go your own way, giving him permanent man-space.

What's Hot? Check out "the latest dating dose of the day" on our evergrowing Dating Community and let yourself indulge in the love and relationship discussions at our exclusive Dating Forum.
Here's what you're missing...

How to attract the right partner
by akone
Discover how to have the person of your dream click here.
need help- i am so sad
by kalina
I think my boyfriend of two and a half years is about to break up with me. I am divorced after a horrible marriage a...
Free ebook - Find True Love with These Super Speed Dating Secrets
by howcanifindlove
I recently stumbled upon this ebook through a friend's email and I thought I'd share it all with you. The ebook's tit...

Comments (13)

I guess we have to show these men how wonderful we are by let them miss us. No contacting or what so ever at all. Unless after a while they contact you after you made them feel to miss you.

My boyfriend has gone to Taiwan for 6 months and then that's when our relationship got it's bruises. He got a lot of female attention, he denied but it was true. I was jealous, and I was nagging about it (my mistake). Then he changed in a bad way for our relationship. He tried to break up after I visited him there when he was 3 months there. It wasn't a warm welcome at all, we had fights especially when I found out he cheated on me emotionally (I say emotionally because I don't have proof he cheated on me with this girl physically). He keep saying he had no other feelings for another girl what so ever and that the problem was our relationship. I worked on my jealous behaviour and I think I've become stronger especially when he tried to break up with a month before he came back. I begged him to wait until he was back. I lost a lot of weight because I felt heart broken. I was nervous and insecure I didn't know what to do or feel because we didn't have that much contact anymore. When we called everything seemed normal and he said he missed me.In the mean time I found out he spent a weekend alone in big city in a hotel with this girl (he doesn't know i know this, but I also don't know if they shared one bed). When he came back he was really confused because I saw his affection for me still in his eyes, but still he wanted to break up because he didn't want to fight for our relationship anymore. And when i said, he was right by leaving me because I deserve a man after all who loves me, respects me and stays with me the rest of my life loving me. He was silent for a while and then took it back. He said he needed space and time to think, he wants 2 weeks to see if there is still a chance for us. We are still in that period but he kisses me and sleeps over (my mistake because i'm not sure if he is taking advantage of that). But he also said I should give him space, so whenever he is not with me I shouldn't contact him or when I do he could be saying he doesn't want to see me right now but he actually meant I don't have to contact him, because he will if he wants to see me anyway. This is kind of a dilemma, but now I also have to time to think if I really want to be with him even though i want to be with him right now.

But I was wondering, how long can your bf get away with it by not contacting you? 1-2 days or 4-5 days? I personally think it's quite long if he doesn't contact you in 3 days. What do you think? I definitely think I should leave him if he thinks he can get away with not leaving me message in 6 days. Because I just had to miss him for 6 months!He got a lot of space there anyway, now he's back he wants more space??
#13 - Mash - 01/19/2012 - 13:03
Hmmm...
The pattern here is that all of ou ladies are chasing afterr these men like there will never be another. "Never chase after a man or a bus, there will ALWAYS be another one". Men still love a challenge and a woman who is so easy to read is... well, pure unattractive! Add a little mystery. Suprise him by not being the first to contact him. when he says he needs space, he probably does! Give it to him. He wont get it that youre not doing the opposite "Begging and Pleading" The more he doesn't get you, the more he'll love you. TRUST me - coming from a girl whose man had to chase hard after her, the benefit far outweighs the struggle. I am in a successful relationship and getting married in 2 months. Our first instinct as human beings is always to pine after what we want... but control yourselves and let him wonder whats going through your mind. If he doesnt come crawling back?? F*** him! "There will ALWAYS be another one. I wish you all the best of luck in your present and future relationships
#12 - Alexis - 01/03/2012 - 14:13
confused! He wants to do him?
Ive been with this guy serious for almost 10 years and everything was going amazing until 3 weeks ago he told me he needs space and to "do him" he wants to see if he can live and do it all by himself.... I packed my stuff and left now staying at my parents on the couch. Me and Him still talk daily he says he has noone else and just wanted a break which im lost about. Our cell phones are under my name and tonite i looked at the bill online and it had a random girls number whom ive had a problem with in the past texing and calling back and forth the last week between midnight and 3am then more calls at 7am..... Im sooo lost does he love me or not? Is this a break or not? I dont know what to do Ive been a miserable chick this past month and i dont know what to tell him... Please help me out!!!! i need advice ASAP :oops:
#11 - jen - 12/21/2011 - 16:51
My commonlaw husband broke it off with me a couple weeks ago and its been really hard for me. Our issue was we argued alot when he visited from workn out of town and my jealousy. He now says if he returns hes coming back with a condition, that he is able to text and hangout with his female friends. Of course i accepted just to have him back but it hurts to think that he wants to talk to other females while with me. I saw a text he recvd today from a girl he ran into from highschool and it kills me that she askd what he was doing and to text her later. My question is what does it matter if hes with his family? I dont text my guys friends out of the blue. Could it be that she wants something with him since she thinks hes single? Well technically he is but still visits and spends the night so the kids wont be confused if we get back together. Im soo confused and depressed and i dont know what to do anymore. Someone please help! P.s. we're still not together and that condition is still there
#10 - erika - 11/26/2011 - 23:32
is he in a relationship with me and does he love me
i was on facebook and i have been going out with my boyfriend called chris for bout 4 months now and i went on there one time which was 2day and i noticed that our relationship status wasn't on there he said that he was drunk and made a mistake does that mean that he is not in a relationship with me and doesn't love me because i seem to think he isn't please help me im very worried :-o
#9 - jodie england - 11/12/2011 - 18:54
Is He Really My Soul Mate ?
Well my ex and i are finally at an understanding after a year and a half. He told me that he needs his distance, so he's thinking about moving to Pennsylvania. We have been living in California our whole life and all of a sudden he moves to a state that's nearly 3,000 miles away ? He claims my daughter as his own,and i don't think he has any family out there. I know i can be a bit overwhelming but i don't know where this is coming from. When i ask him if he loves me he tells me yes... I'm so confused.:oops:

please help
#8 - Veronica Lopez - 10/24/2011 - 17:43
my bf and i have been together for 2 years and pretty much live together. we broke up about 6 mon ago for 3 mon. when we broke up he said he needed his space and i begged and cried and pretty much stalked him. it actually made it much worse. he got mad at me when he found out and it made it worse. then i stopped contacting him and he started talking to me again. and its been great ubtil e told me fri that he needed some space. ughhhh
#7 - ashley - 10/11/2011 - 19:37
ouch..
My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. He has talked to me everyday since the break up and told me the other day he needed time. He's been thinking about taking a girl to a dance but doesn't know if he wanted to be serious with her...what do I do?
#6 - makenna - 09/15/2011 - 11:01
Heart Broken!
My guy just broke up with me yesterday, we had a huge argument on saturday night. He said it was over (he was very angry) but then when he'd calmed down he said he needed some space to himself for a week or so, he said he may feel differnt after this space & want me back but he doesnt know.
He cried when i was leaving & gave me cuddles & kisses & he also asked me to promise i wouldnt get with anyone else in this time & he did the same.
Im absolutly heart broken, i love him so much, was living with him. Now ive moved out, i dont know if il hear from him as when i asked him this he said 'just leave it with me'.
I pleaded & begged him to give me a chance but he just said he needs time to himself right now.
Im trying to work out if i should try again or just leave him to have his space like he's asked?
I know he'l be expecting me to text, do you think if i leave it, it may make him want to speak to me as iv not been in contact?
I really am stuck, i want him back so bad but dont know they right way to go about it!
#5 - Cheryl - 09/12/2011 - 08:30
My ex is going through a rough time.He was depressed & angry already & just became cols. Dumped me & then acted like I was the bad person. I was blind sided. I did beg & plead but it ended where he said he needed time because he was mad & didn't want to show me mean. It has been 4 days & I cannot sleep or eat. I tried to get out of bed & do things but I start crying & feel sick to my stomach. It's like I have the flu.I need him in my life so much.I'm in love with him.
#4 - heartbroken - 08/19/2011 - 14:54
Start Previous Page
Name
E-mail (Will not appear online)
Homepage
Title
Comment
;-) :-) :-D :-( :-o :-O B-) :oops: :-[] :-P
To prevent automated Bots form spamming, please enter the text you see in the image below in the appropriate input box. Your comment will only be submitted if the strings match. Please ensure that your browser supports and accepts cookies, or your comment cannot be verified correctly.
»